3 more sleeps. That’s what I just told myself out loud. Like the way you would to explain to a kid when mommy or daddy travel for work. To many of you it may seem like this transplant is happening so fast. But for me, I feel like I have been waiting F O R E V E R. Mostly because I have been feeling crappy for far too long. From the moment I wake up, I already need a nap. Nothing tastes good. Everything tastes like it was drenched in battery acid and sprinkled with blood. I know that sounds very dramatic but there is this constant metallic taste in my mouth that has been amplified these past few weeks.

I can’t imagine how good its going to feel to wake up from surgery and feel better. What does better actually feel like? I think about how I have slowly felt a lil crappier every day since Sept 2017. And that technically my body has been in slow decline since about 1994/1995. I have been in Airplane Mode for the past few weeks, barely doing anything. Making sure I don’t do anything that could jeopardize my health prior to surgery. Being so close to transplant makes it seem further away. Hard to explain.

I know all of you are cheering me on from the sidelines and I am sorry if I haven’t replied to your text or email. I am in a glass case of emotion and while I am excited for surgery - it feels very surreal. So please forgive me as I stay trapped in this Dali painting. I know better days are coming.

Just have to get through 3 more sunsets.

[fingers crossed]