Equanimity or Upekkha has to do with clarity and wisdom and with being fearlessly open-minded, without judgments, desire or aversion. Equanimity implies accepting the reality of life’s high and low points and developing an attitude of inner peace amidst inevitable changes.

I am learning to let go of fear and just accept that what will be - will be. I can not control all of the issues related to my health. I can control how I react and how I process information. This doesn't mean I pretend or fake it. I am a big believer in good things happen to good people. KARMA. But that doesn't mean that bad things happen to bad people. Things just happen.

I spoke with my transplant coordinator today. She reassured me that the donor process takes time but that my transplant evaluation is moving along as fast as possible. Realistically we could be looking at year(s). That's okay. I have accepted it. I am ahead of this disease. I am otherwise healthy. I am using this time to educate myself and others on living donation. I do need to get some additional labs due to "something" that showed up on my spleen via CT scan. I was told not to worry all standard procedure. So until then I shall focus and meditate on practicing Equanimity.

PS I know you want to "google" spleen. Here is a quick link