Tuesday was an emotional roller coaster of a day. On one of those super old wooden roller coasters. The kind that allow you to feel every turn, every bump, all the feels. Then you get off the roller coaster and you are convinced that you have dislocated your shoulder or possibly sprained your neck. Well it was that kind of a day.

Shall we review?

Around noon I received a call from potential Donor A. He went in on Monday for additonal testing after initial blood work showed that we had a compatible crossmatch. I knew something was wrong because his voice had dropped deep. Yesterday, potential Donor A was disqualified from being a contender. Unbeknownst to him - he has a rare condition where his kidneys are sort of "fused together". Therefore they can not be separated. It was a hard conversation. Two friends holding back tears over the phone. Trying to support each other in an extremely helpless situation. I went for a walk and collected my thoughts.

I texted Potential Donor B. We already knew we had compatible blood types but hadn't heard back regarding crossmatch. I was in a meeting when potential Donor B called. "I have good news and weird news" she says. Turns out we had a good crossmatch but she can't proceed with transplant testing any further. She is unexpectedly 6 weeks pregnant.

***mic drop***

Emotions are at an all time high. I mean what can we do. We cry and laugh and cry. You know it's hard to ask friends and family for help. It's not the easiest thing to ask someone to consider being a donor. Well it's 100x harder to hear your friend cry over the phone because they feel like they let you down. It's gut wrenching. But it's also the most selfless thing I have witnessed. And I got two doses in one day.

Okay so let's focus on the cards still on the deck:

- I still have two more potential donors going through testing.

- My wife is willing to participate in a Kidney Paired Exchange program. So while she is not a match for me - she could be a match for someone else.

- I am not on dialysis.

- Possibly, I could wait for Donor B to have a baby, heal, get tested again and still avoid kidney failure.

So I am not hopeless. The universe has ways of sending you signs. Like after this shit of a Tuesday I went home and found a letter from my bank. Immediately I thought "these F-ers" what now?!?

Enclosed was a $500 Amazon Gift Card. That's what. Apparently I won some online sweepstakes. Isn't that C R A Z Y.

Babe sends through My Horoscope : if your ship encounters choppy waters plug up the holes and sail on.